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var today_obj=new Date()
var today_date=today_obj.getDate()

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tips[1]='Yo momma so poor she can\'t afford to pay attention!'
tips[2]='Yo momma so old, her social security number is 1!'
tips[3]='Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!'
tips[4]='Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, No Professionals."'
tips[5]='Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald\'s and put a milkshake on layaway.'
tips[6]='Yo momma so old, she older than yo grandma!'
tips[7]='Yo momma fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.'
tips[8]='Yo momma so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.'
tips[9]='Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.'
tips[10]='Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch!'
tips[11]='Yo momma so fat shes on both side of the family.'
tips[12]='Yo momma so ugly they didn\'t give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.'
tips[13]='Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.'
tips[14]='Yo momma so old that when she was in school, there was no history class.'
tips[15]='Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.'
tips[16]='Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money.'
tips[17]='Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.'
tips[18]='Yo Momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people\'s fingers!'
tips[19]='Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.'
tips[20]='Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!'
tips[21]='Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.'
tips[22]='Yo Momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin\'?" She said, "Buying luggage."'
tips[23]='Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it.'
tips[24]='Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled, "HEY, KOOL-AID!"'
tips[25]='Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours...for a quote!'
tips[26]='Yo Momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "Moving."'
tips[27]='Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.'
tips[28]='Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says, "To be continued."'
tips[29]='Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn\'t have to kiss her goodbye.'
tips[30]='Yo Momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says, "DING!"'
tips[31]='Yo momma so old shes blind from the big bang.'

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